This article is about getting better. More specifically – breaking barriers, noticing improvements, and gaining momentum.
Of course, we would all want these things in our lives. Why does it seem like the majority of people stay in ruts, in almost every thing they do?
Perhaps we can understand how to get better by, first, understanding what stops us from doing so.
Basically, we have been conditioned to react accordingly.
According to what? According to some sort of stimuli that was present when we were becoming a conditioned little child, new to the world.
Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, emotional systems rewards us for doing the same thing we’ve always done and avoiding scary new things. That stimuli is a moment in time that we are forever emotionally-trapped in.
Have you ever known a person with a phobia?
When I watch someone react to their phobias, I’m amazed at how irrational emotional systems are.
How is it that I can go right up to the harmless Tarantula, pet it, while my guy here with arachnophobia is literally paralyzed by his nervous system.
He is irrationally afraid. The reality of imminent danger is only his, and his alone, and I will never realize it for myself.
Clearly, I’m not in danger. Why does he feel like he is? Why does his nervous system react accordingly?
Not just the phobia, but all the realities that life dishes out to him will be for him to experience, and only him.
Similarly, I don’t understand why he keeps giving up at stuff after a couple of weeks, while I’m able to be consistent for months at a time.
Without knowing his emotional reality, it is impossible to understand why he would take actions that are that irrational, and certainly detrimental to his goals.
When we close look at those who are especially self-destructive in areas where we excel, it will boggle our minds.
As a result, this will teach us to be more sympathetic…. or on the opposite end, an elitist bully.
For example, as someone who is at ease with strangers, we may wonder why he looks worried and anxious when he’s meeting new people, and even though there is apparently nothing to be worried and anxious about at all?
Why does he take minor offenses seriously and ruin a positive vibe wherever he goes? Even though there is no immediate danger in the environment, he still lashes out. Over time, nobody likes being around him.
It is better to be sympathetic to the conditioning of others so we can do the same for ourselves. The same as how we can not force ourselves to be happy, or sad, or excited… he can’t easily change how he is conditioned to respond to situations. These responses become actions, and then those become our habits and self-fulfilling prophecies.
Like him, we all have some sort of weird, negative conditioning that stops us from becoming better.
How do we make a plan to escape?
Let’s take the time to self-reflect on the amount of irrational behavior we take part in.
Instead of feeling proud like an elitist, being complacent, take the time to look, and criticize.
If anything, this definitely makes us more sympathetic towards the struggles of those beneath us.
While it’s enjoyable to be proud of your strengths and even addicting to abuse whatever sense of power you have, it’s awfully painful to reflect on weaknesses.
It’s tempting to even deny that we are acting silly, wrong, being irrational. In weakness we may turn a blind eye towards behaviors that carve out an unbearable rut.
It seems like a lot of people dig themselves into these ruts. These people have blind spots that are purposefully ignored, and they have seemingly fallen in love with a few forms of delusion. All in all, they are no longer in the game, going the wrong direction.
We need to avoid this by developing the skill of self-awareness.
In doing so, we practice bringing glaring weaknesses out into the light, staying confident and poised, going through pain and vulnerability, so that one day they can become strengths.
A component of self-awareness is the willful effort to take an honest look at our daily actions so that we may go in that direction. This is the force that will transmute weakness to strength.
After you cross-examine the crap of your schedule and weighed every activity against serving the achievement of your goals, you’ll begin to see where you can make a difference.
Then, because you no longer hide from it, you will execute proper actions to deal with this exposed vulnerability. These vulnerabilities come in the form of ineffective behaviors.
Just from being self-aware, improvements are noticed right away. There is an endearing humbleness to those who practice self-awareness.
For example, A resentful person teenager becomes honest to himself that he is only failing in his life because he is avoiding practicing his social skills. The admittance that he, himself, is responsible for the deep hurtful feelings of indignation makes him a humble person – one that will improve his life.
Taking responsibility means having the ability to respond and, now, fix his life.
Here is where self-efficacy comes in – so that we won’t just be self-aware, but become better.
A lot of times, we might just be reflecting on weaknesses, having great self-awareness, but still numbing the pain and vulnerability.
We use drugs, video games, porn, and junk food.
Even though we may appear to be humble and wise, and give off a great vibe, we may still be stuck by our limiting self-image. Which, in turn, limits our self-efficacy. The ability to act towards our goals.
Without the overwhelming belief in eventual success, it is difficult to muster the will-power to take any proper action. Instead of facing our challenges, that we are so aware of, we may subconsciously feel like we are unworthy, and numb ourselves to this calling.
This stops us from becoming better even though we know how to be better. Our vices are still more powerful over our self-will to better.
Self-efficacy needs to be developed so that there is execution of proper action. Until then, we are simply living with our head in the clouds… dreaming of a better life, kicking ourselves for failing, but not doing exactly what it takes.
We need to build our self-efficacy by continually working on our self-image.
We can do this by making sure we build ourselves up in every aspect of our life. This means being around positive people that want the best for us. this means we can choose what kind of media we consume, and limit the amount of bad food we eat.
We can be honest and tidy. We can take care of ourselves like somebody who is worth it.
In turn, this builds us a strong emotional framework. We will, naturally, likely, take the right actions towards achieving our goals because we know that we deserve it.
First, be sympathetic to yourself.
You didn’t choose your conditioning, but you are choosing to take responsibility for them by building self-awareness and self-efficacy.
That is all that matters, and that makes you a good person, destined for greatness.
Go and get better.